We need our mobile phones as servants not as masters. They are not human, do not have feelings, and, however they appear to react to what we ask or say, they cannot be upset by or with us. If we become their slave we risk making ourselves like them – automatoms with no personality or soul. Even if you have no religious belief you have a soul of humanity.
For many aspects of our life routine process is useful because it saves us having to think through things that may be repetitive. Brushing your teeth does not require a lot of thought daily. You do, however, occasionally need to think about it. If it becomes only a process you can’t.
Fiddling with the ‘phone first turns into a habit, then an obsession. It can disintegrate into a disease. Like many diseases it is curable but you should avoid catching it in the first place. Why do people do it? Loneliness, laziness, fear, ambition, the pleasure of physical movement – all contribute to our tendency to Focus on the ‘PHone.
The epitome of the syndrome was Captain Queeg in ‘The Caine Mutiny’. His two steel marbles rattling in his hand were a sign of some very repressive and rather worrying tendencies. Those weaknesses led to the mutiny for which he was blamed, probably incorrectly. Do not let your mobile become the cause of uprisings you cannot control.
We are in danger of thinking first about the person on the phone – fearing they might shut off and we’d lose contact. Avoiding the risk of succumbing to this behaviour involves thought for others and self-discipline. A simple rule is to always put someone you are talking to face to face ahead of any other demand. Doing so is polite and also gives them a small honour. The one paying attention to be with us is actually the one who matters most.
When you open the phone unnecessarily in front of someone else you metaphorically slap them in the face. Of course if you think the message you are receiving is desperate you will attend to it at once. Most incoming messages aren’t. It’s better to assume that if there is a real crisis you will receive an urgent alert.
There is another reason why you should pay attention to your Manners with the Mobile. Whatever situation you are in your personal stature is what mostly determines if you will be listened to. Subservience to a mobile phone does not present you as a person of influence but rather as someone who must be at the beck and call of others.
Saddest of all is the person whose Passion for Phoning suggests desperation in the search for a friend – any friend, even a scam call. Oh dear, please do not become a wandering Willy or Winnie. It’s a pathetic and lonely road I don’t wish on you.
Pay attention to the person in front of you.
They matter most in your life at this moment.
Good morning
John Bittleston
If you have another point of view please let us hear it at [email protected].
We’ll be forever grateful. Thank you.
01 September 2025
