Some people are claiming that they have fallen in love with AI. I believe them. I don’t believe those who say that AI has fallen in love with them. How could it? AI doesn’t have any feelings like that, does it? Are you sure about your answer? Will you always be sure? Ay, there’s the rub. We know not whither AI wanders. At present we are walking beside it. Soon we shall be following it unless we take charge. But how could we do that?
There are many ways of thinking about it. Panpsychism is one of them. I have been something of a panpsychic believer since the age of ten. Never heard of it? Panpsychism suggests that everything has some degree of mind or awareness – not just humans and animals, but also plants, atoms, and even subatomic particles. Well, we know about the plants, don’t we? A quick shufti round the greenhouse before breakfast gives them zest for the day.
It’s more than that, though. Mr Basil Hirons who taught me carpentry in prep school was quite clear that even inanimate objects had some sort of feeling. Anyway he taught us to behave as though they did. I have tried to observe that all my life. It has been well worth it. If you think that kindness towards a brick is a good idea you will be kind to people too. Bricklayers are kind to their bricks, you notice. And generally towards everything and everyone else.
For years our relationship with animals was sporting or gustatory. We’ve more or less changed the sporting bit but eating them is still much indulged. Personally I don’t think that matters too much provided we treat them kindly and kill them mercifully. But I have every sympathy with those who feel differently. And I hit nails with a hammer when necessary – but I try to do it kindly. It’s how I would want them to hit me if they had to.
It may be a long time before we find out if car tyres have feelings. Meanwhile I think we should consider asking them. If we don’t yet have the language to do so, AI will certainly provide it before long. Meanwhile we could engage in conversations with more lively subjects. A snail may be slow going but a centipede will keep you choosing footwear for a long time. An apple would be the fruit of choice for historical banter, I suppose. I’m told many now conduct lively conversations with their robot cats. Not for me, I’m afraid.
My modest suggestion today is that you should have a Chat with a Cherry. I’m not yet skilled at this but feel the glow of warm ripeness encourages conversation, though of what esoteric level I am not yet appraised. And I have a modest confession to make. Cherries are all very well but ‘docile’ is an understatement. I’m one for a bit more spice in life, personally.
If you are like me and prefer a little tingle to the daily routine you could consider adopting my technique. It’s worked well with me so far.
Don’t be shy
Go on, have a Chat with a Chilli.
Good morning
John Bittleston
And I nearly forgot. Never speak severely to a DIY drill. They don’t like it.
That goes for us, too. Gentle words at [email protected] will be welcome.
30 Aug 2025
