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The last decade has been different from the previous sixty years for everyone. A clash between opportunities created by technological advances and threats of climate, pandemics, personal expectations about quality of life and the liberation of dangerous communications has brought anxiety and conflict on a scale much of the developed world’s population are not used to. They are finding it difficult to cope with this. It is even thought by some professionals that Covid may have disturbed the human body’s processes in ways not yet identified.

As far as we can see this has resulted in a personal loss of confidence about many things. Our non-scientific small sample suggests that while people may still be confident about their work and, perhaps to a slightly less extent, their home life, they are feeling ‘lost’ when faced with other challenges. The word ‘lost’ occurs frequently including among those who are financially or job secure. Accompanying this is a resurgence of people saying they want to ‘give back’ to society in gratitude for their relatively stable life.

Lost confidence is a part of decision paralysis that often causes the phrase “Everything’s going to be alright”. This is not inevitably the precursor to disaster but it quite often is. Mentoring and coaching are themselves constantly developing and changing. As our personal lives have become more public and as knowledge has become the property of all who care to search for it, the depth of engagement has grown. Help needed has similarly grown. What is that help and how do people access it?

The answer is to master the fundamentals. This involves four steps which need to be followed in sequence if they are to be effective:

[1] Know your purpose or objective. Very few people do and most who do think ‘to get rich’ is the answer. It isn’t. Getting rich is a consequence of doing something successfully. It is not a purpose like building a house or business or becoming the head influencer in a sphere of life. It has none of the motivation of construction, repair or reformation.

[2] Equip yourself to read people. If you think you can already do that, look at yourself in the mirror and say who you are. If you think it is easy, worry. You should find it difficult. Who you are at this moment is not the same as who you were yesterday, nor as who you will be tomorrow. The repetitive nature of our behaviour masks the vacillation of our personality. That is true of everyone, so reading people is a rolling story, not a photograph.

[3] Discipline your interest in others. We are most interested in ourselves. That is natural and desirable because it is self-protective. Our development comes from interest in other people. Not only is it the basis of learning, it is fundamental to teaching too. The greatest paradox of life is that the happiness we seek for ourselves only reaches us when we are helping other people. That is how we become socially, creatively and financially successful.

[4] Appreciate the life you have and the world you live in. Much of our education is goal-setting and some goal setting is good. But if you are forever reaching for the stars you miss the incredible life you have been given, the untold joy you have within your grasp and the true achievement of your time on earth. To find contentment, look for these four routes. You will discover that they are actually one route. It is a secret in plain sight.

Purpose, Read, Interest, Appreciate. Your road to being fulfilled.

Saddle up.

Good morning

John Bittleston

To answer your question: Yes, it’s what we do all the time to help people.

[email protected].   

11 June 2024